Last weekend I celebrated the one year anniversary of my ankle operation! Does Hallmark make a card for this occasion? Probably not, but I can not even begin to tell you how much different life looks to me now compared to one year ago. For this I am extremely grateful; definitely worth celebrating! Just last week as I rushed home from the tram stop around the corner from my house, I had a tear in my eye as it occurred to me how long and painful that short walk used to be; sometimes you don’t even realize how much pain your are in until it is gone. I rarely take the tram these days and prefer to bike!
Getting to the point of having the surgery was a feat. The tendon problem I had is generally recurring with no common permanent solution to correct it. Over two years before the surgery a different Orthopedic Surgeon tried a plaster cast with a boot for a month, but when there was no improvement told me to “just try not to walk too much”. I then had one cortisone shot in the US, and the favorite non-solution of every doctor…orthotic inserts in my shoes. I was 37, not 97 and unwilling to limp through life. Navigating the medical system here requires persistence, and ending up with the surgeon who performs this uncommon surgery was actually a stroke of luck.
My surgeon not only repaired the ruptured (torn) tendon on the inside of my ankle but restructured the position of my foot and ankle to prevent it from happening again. He went in from the outside of my ankle and completely sawed the bone in two, shifted it slightly and made a third incision in my heel to screw it all back together for good measure in the new position.
I completely underestimated how excruciatingly painful this would be and how much longer than the promised six weeks the recovery might take. There were dark days and a long slow recovery ahead as I was not allowed to let my foot touch the ground at all.
The experience gave me a tremendous awareness and appreciation of those who live with a lifelong disability. My attempt to travel from the Dutch Island of Tesel to Amsterdam for work in a wheel chair using the “special” service of the NS Dutch Railway was appalling; shameful!
Living in a Dutch dubble bovenhuis, basically a house on three levels with lots of narrow steep stairs, meant scooting up and down the stairs on my butt and pulling myself up to a standing position with the assistance of an Ikea step stool strategically located on each level. I was a prisoner in my own home and could only escape in a wheelchair. Thankfully my Mom flew over to take care of me for the first five weeks and to help with the kids. As much as I love and appreciate her, our 24×7 togetherness between four walls coupled with my frustration of being confined, immobilized and dependent on her and my husband pushed us all to the limit! When she flew back home I believed I was just days away from freedom; but no. There would be a rainbow of different colored casts and months not weeks before the feeling slowly started to return to my foot so I could stand on it with crutches, eventually wear a sneaker and finally walk.
People often ask me where my motivation to lose the weight came from so suddenly and so seriously…it was at this point.
I had been so fed up and was now so relieved just to be able to walk again! Yet I couldn’t run, didn’t know how to get fit in these circumstances, but knew I needed to take action. This led me to look for a solution.
When I showed up at the Lab Gym, I was desperate and willing to do whatever they told me to do, but I was skeptical. From the start, it was like a miracle to me that my body was not letting me down and I could actually do the workouts. (An entire post will be devoted to why I’ll always love the leg press.) I was euphoric and started to feel like myself again. The rest is history!
So as “the anniversary” approached, I asked my friend Sylvie who was with me at the hospital last year to meet for a drink to celebrate. After a few Belgian beers (she is Belgian) we decided to go dancing… because I could! After dancing the night away, Sylvie hopped in a taxi and despite the late /early morning hour and the temperature of minus 10 degrees, I decided to walk home on my own…because I could!
The streets were bright, full of freshly fallen snow, and I can tell you it was a glorious walk! What a difference a year can make!
{ 6 comments }
Congratulations, Suzy! It’s so incredible to look back, almost with disbelief, at how much pain and discomfort you’ve suffered and put up with. Then bring yourself back to now, what an amazing achievement. Finding the right people to get you on the right path is like finding gold! After enduring so much, pain free is amazing, but fit and healthy and free.. nothing better! I can so relate! 🙂 Success to you!!
Thanks Natalie! You were such a great support during those “difficult days” having survived your knee surgeries! I am embarrassed to say how many months your bright blue crutches have been standing by for me to return to you- Let’s hope neither of us ever need them again!
Oh I don’t ever want to see those crutches again, never mind need them! I’m sure that goes for both of us 😉 I’m happy for them to go to a new home if you know of someone else that might benefit from them..
I’ve said it before – I’ll say it again…you are an inspiration. I am so thrilled with your accomplishments. You have always been a beacon of light. I think of you daily and know when my craziness settles down, I will try to follow in your footsteps. Thanks for sharing and inspiring!
Waking up to your comment this morning Laura…made my day:-) Thank you! We both know the craziness NEVER really goes away, so when you sense a small opening in the chaos around you coming on..grab your chance and go for it! Be SELFISH for once, seriously!
Happy anniversary. I had blocked out the details of the op..reading it made my stomach lurch again.